7 Lessons from "Like a Broken Vessel" by Elder Holland

Yesterday in Relief Society, we had an amazing lesson. We discussed Elder Holland's talk "Like a Broken Vessel". Whether you are LDS or not, this is an inspiring talk that everybody can relate to. He discusses having hope when mental illness strikes, mainly depression. Elder Holland talks with such power and love, that you can't help but be moved by his testimony and the spirit. 

As sisters we discussed and shared experiences relating to depression and his talk. The spirit was so strong, it moved many of the sisters to tears. This can be a sensitive topic. Emotions were strong and love for our Savor filled the room. 

I'd like to share some of the highlights of his talk and add my own reflections. I've never suffered from depression or any other from of mental illness, but someone very close to me does suffer from a mental illness. Whether you are the the one suffering or the caregiver of such, I know you can find comfort and hope in this short talk. 

How can we keep hope during dark and troubling times when mental illnesses such as depression strike? Elder Holland gives us some guidance in his talk.

1. God gave us a Redeemer, that we might triumph over the tests and trials of this mortal life. Elder Holland reminds us that we are living in a fallen world, and that we did in fact, choose to live in this fallen world. It is here where pursuit of godliness "will be tested and tried again and again." 

"Of greatest assurance in God's plan is that of a Savor was promised, a Redeemer, who through our faith in Him would lift us triumphantly over those tests and trials, even though the cost to do so would be unfathomable for bot the Father who sent Him and the Son who came. It is only an appreciation of this divine love that will make our own lesser suffering first bearable, then understandable, and finally redemptive." - Elder Holland

2. Above all, never lose faith in your Father in Heaven, who loves you more than you can comprehend. Elder Holland quotes President Monson in saying:

That love never changes...It is the there for you when you are sad or happy, discouraged or hopeful. God's love is there for you whether or not you feel you deserve [it]. It is simply always there".

Elder Holland admonishes us to never doubt God's love for us and never harden our hearts toward Him.

3. Faithfully pursue the time-tested devotional practices that bring the Spirit of the Lord into your life. Do the things that bring the spirit into your life. It is by the strength of God that we pull through hard times. Draw closer to him. Pray, read your scriptures, partake of the sacrament, and attend the temple if possible.

4. Seek the counsel of those who hold keys for your spiritual well-being. Ask for and cherish priesthood blessings. I know that in the hardest times of my life, priesthood blessings have brought incredible strength to a weary soul. I've learned that you do not have to be on your deathbed to have enough reason to ask for a blessing. God wants us to turn to him, he wants to bless us. This is why he has given the priesthood to worthy men. He uses these worthy men to pronounce blessings upon our heads and to give us guidance, comfort, strength and courage.
     If you do not have a husband or family member who is capable of giving you a priesthood blessing, there are home teachers, bishops, ward members, and missionaries who can give blessings if asked. There is always this resource available.

5. If capable, take the sacrament every week. I know that when there are prolonged periods where I have missed the sacrament for one reason or another, that I can feel my spirit shrink and weaken. There is great strength in the sacrament. Whenever I partake of the sacrament, my strength and faith is renewed. It is a time when we reflect on the Atonement of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. It is through him we receive strength to carry on and one day, make it back to our Father in Heaven.

6. Believe in miracles. Elder Holland said "I have seen so many of them come when every other indication would say that hope was lost. Hope is never lost." I too, have seen miracles in my own life. When it seems like there is no light at the end of the tunnel, when we think the sun will never shine again, by our faith it will. The light will come. I echo the words of Elder Holland, Hope is never lost.

7. If things continue, seek advice. If things persist, "seek the advice of reputable people with certified training, professional skills, and good values." He encourages us to be honest with them about the struggles we've been facing, then pray about the advice they've given.

There are some of us, while we may not be suffering from an illness, we are caregivers to someone who is. I fit more into this category. Elder Holland's words can give us strength. Let us not be overwhelmed and let us not assume we can fix everything. I believe and know that sometimes the person with mental illness such as depression, bipolar or schizophrenia is not the only one who is to learn and grow from their situation. It's those around, the caregiver, the passerby-er, a friend or acquaintance who are to learn and grow from the situation as well.

A family member who is dear to my husband and I suffers from schizophrenia. This can be very hard to see, most times, there is nothing we can do. But, we always learn vastly important lessons that will carry on with us through our life. Love always, cherish the moments together, etc. Our challenges will only help us in the future, in ways we cannot know right now. How much more will we be able to relate and help another, because of the trials of our past? How much easier will it be for us to place an arm around a shoulder and comfort someone in need? We came to earth to grow, to learn and to be tested. Growth does not come by gliding through life. Growth comes from trials and challenges. Let us be strong and have faith during these times, because God will not give us a commandment, trial or challenge that we cannot keep, overcome or endure.  As Elder Holland said "We are infinitely more than our limitations or afflictions!".

I hope that if you are struggling, or know someone who is, listen to the words of one of God's apostles and may it give you strength and courage to continue on and endure. I invite you to take a few minutes and listen to Elder Holland as he delivers his powerful message titled "Like a Broken Vessel" May it help and God bless you.

- SamiMae

9+1 Awesome Perks of Being Married - Especially (But Not Solely) for Mormons.

I love being married. Can I just say? It's great.

Not only is being married superlatively rewarding, but being married and Mormon is even better. Our theology of the family is so robust, it takes an institution that has already been the backbone of most civilizations for millennia, and takes it to a whole new level. I have found that Paul was truly wise when he said in Hebrews (13:4) that “marriage is honorable in all.”

I want to share, then, a few of the things that I have personally lived over these last six-plus months of marriage that cause me to be happier every day that I made the decision to marry. I don't want this post to come across as a “my-life-is-better-than-yours” brag-fest, but rather, I want to help those who are anxious about or uninterested in marriage understand a little bit more of why I like it so much, and why I think you would enjoy it thoroughly as well.

Also, before you worry, I'm keeping this entire post family friendly. For what little that's worth nowadays.

Maybe your spouse's talent will be... throwing playing cards at a watermelon?
Actually, I just wanted an excuse to post this funny picture. 

1) You get to enjoy all your spouse's unique talents. Everyone has skills, talents, and abilities that they bring with them into the marriage. Some have a kind, sensitive listening ear. Others have a way with words to calm you down after a hard day's work. Others are musically or artistically gifted. Some are great cooks (Sam's specialty!) Some are athletic, wise beyond their years, intellectually talented, or any number of things. As a married couple, you will get to share these things with your dearly beloved, and always have first claim on your spouse's talents and gifts.

2) You get a confidant. One of the first things I noticed as I was going out with Samantha – and then again when we were married – is that I could come and talk with her about basically anything. Even those things that I was worried would make her love me less, didn't, when we handled it in the right way, together. That's something that I never had much of growing up, and it was a truly amazing experience. It's nice to have someone to talk with about things – anything – and to encourage you when things in your life get really tough. Finally, being married, and talking about things before you do them, can keep you from doing something really stupid.

3) Quality time with your spouse is therapeutic. I would argue that it's on par with meditation, although I obviously have no hard scientific information to back that one up. There's something intangible but very real about having someone that you can spend time with, be relaxed with, and do just about anything with, who you know isn't going anywhere. Speaking from experience, I can tell you it's even better than having a dog. (And less mess to clean up.)

Look at me and my bad self!

4) Your self confidence goes up. Since you know you have someone who will stick with you through thick and thin, you're not so worried about blowing everything up and having nothing. Since you talk about stuff you do before you do it, you know you're less likely to do something stupid. Since she (or he) is always telling you that your ideas are good (when they are, at least), you feel empowered to put them into action. Since you have someone to talk to if things don't turn out well, you're not as worried about the risks you take. Final result? Self-confidence goes through the roof.

5) You get to receive -and give - little kindnesses throughout the day. I can't say how awesome it was the first time my wife offered to make me lunch and bring it to me on campus because I had to run out the door that morning and didn't have time to make myself anything. (Or that one time she actually brought me dinner in the engineering building because I had to work on homework until that late in the evening.) Or all the “I love you”s throughout the day. And, you know what? I think that these kindnesses and courtesies are well within the reach of any couple that is willing to step outside itself and honestly try to court each other. At least, as long as the guy isn't a jerk.

6) You get awesome in-laws. Contrary to popular stereotypes, the in-laws can be one of the coolest things about a marriage. I get along great with her folks, and she gets along great with mine. Whenever I'm at her parents' house, I feel like one of the family, and whenever she's with my mom or my dad, everyone's charmed. It's like we both just doubled the size of our family! I think the trick to having good in-laws is to be respectful and courteous, and give them the benefit of the doubt as much as you can. After all, they were her (or his) family before you came along, and you're taking her (or him) away from them. Being grateful and courteous goes a long way to smoothing over a potentially bumpy transition.

7) You get to learn stuff together. You learn all sorts of things – both of a practical, and an intellectual nature. First, you will learn things together intellectually that will help you to develop like mindsets and similar ways of seeing the world. But what's more, you will learn practical wisdom as you confront trials together, and therefore you grow more than you ever could have on your own.

8) You will complement each other. You will inevitably find ways that your personalities, and your situations in life, complement each other. Careful not to let it become a point of contention. But if you make it work, it'll be a tremendous opportunity for you to learn what the world looks like from a different point of view, and grow better for it. In our case, our temperaments began somewhat different, with me being very mellow, and her being very high strung. Over the year-plus that we have known each other, I have mellowed her out to a degree, while she has helped me to stand my ground in situations where I would have been too mellow.

9) For all the stuff that marriage gives you, you will learn to be truly selfless. For perhaps the first time in your life, you will truly put someone else's welfare ahead of your own. The world we live in is full of “me-first” propaganda that all too often will hollow out our souls. But if we let it, marriage has the opportunity to soften us, refresh our souls, and truly change our outlook on life.

10) (Bonus for Mormons) Marriage doesn't end with this life. In Mormonism, we receive the promise that, if we try to be faithful to God and His commandments as best as we can, and are faithful to promises made in God's holy temples, we will have the opportunity to continue our marriage relationship in the life after this one. In a volume of modern scripture given to Mormons, the Doctrine and Covenants (132:19), the Lord reveals that “if a man marry a wife by my word, which is my law... [that marriage shall be valid] in time, and through all eternity; and shall be of full force when they are out of the world .” The love which we share in this world can endure forever, and can truly be a blessing for eternity.

Mormons make sacred promises, or covenants, in holy temples
 which allow them to be with their families after this life.

In a world that seems more and more emotionally immature, marriage isn't for the faint of heart. Blatant images and videos promote sexual “gratification” above “old-fashioned” virtues such as honesty, integrity, thrift, decency, and commitment. What's more, this denigration of healthy values feeds on itself; as divorce rates climb, and the statistics grow more sobering by the day, people convince themselves that the institution of marriage doesn't work. In reality it's not the institution that doesn't work, but the people who are trying to shortcut it.

Marriage requires a complete commitment (from both parties!) to make it work, a “burn-your-bridges,” “do-or-die-trying” type of mindset that is far too uncommon in today's society. Therefore, I don't recommend it if you're not ready to go all-in, or your intended spouse isn't. But if you do, and you can make it work, you may truly find that the words of God in the Doctrine and Covenants (49:15) were inspired, when He said, simply but powerfully, that “marriage is ordained of God unto man.”

Reflections on Being a Mormon

Hey, all. I regret not having been able to update the blog for almost two weeks now. There have been quite a few personal issues that have kept me from devoting the time to this blog that I would have liked over the past fortnight.

Unfortunately, even with the extra time to mull over ideas for blog posts, and more encouragement and interest for these posts than ever, I don't feel like I've had any really great ideas for interesting content for today's post.

So, instead of doing my typical themed-type blog post, I want to something a little more freestyle. I hope you'll bear with me. Today, I'm going to focus simply on how I feel as a practicing, believing Mormon in the Millennial generation. I'll try not to ramble too much, but it might be a little longer, because it's a little closer to my heart.

Reflections on Being a Mormon

(Note for non-Mormons: Although I make try to make sure that readers of all faiths and backgrounds can understand what I'm saying, there might be a few things in this post that are harder for non-Mormons to understand. If something here is unclear to you, feel free to leave a comment, or contact me directly at TrevorAlexanderJones@gmail.com, and hopefully I can help you out. Happy reading!)

Reflection One: I am a practicing, believing, mostly-orthodox Mormon. I do pay my tithing. I do say my prayers morning and night. I do not read my scriptures nearly as often as I should – and I'm mostly OK with that. I try my very best to be good to everyone I know, attend the temple regularly, and live up to the promises I've made there. I served a mission, worked hard there, came home, and got married in the church. I work very hard to one day become a mostly orthodox father-husband-provider figure to a family that I hope will one day be made up of lots of mostly orthodox Mormons.

As an orthodox Mormon, I was married in the
Salt Lake Temple, one of the Church's most iconic buildings. 

I try not to let my sins and imperfections get the best of me. I sometimes have doubts about certain things, and I often wonder if the Church is being lead as effectively as it could be. I sustain my leaders, though, and I follow what they say as well as I can. On the more controversial matters, I will side with the Church every time, and try to defend their position with gusto. I trust in the grace of God inordinately. I trust my gut more than I trust fuzzy thoughts in my head that may or may not be promptings from God.

And, do you know what? Even though I'm not perfectly orthodox, I feel incredibly fulfilled. I feel like I've got perfect balance in my spiritual life. I've really got a good thing going here.

Reflection Two: I believe very strongly in the truth of God, as taught by Jesus Christ and Joseph Smith. I believe that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the Church of God on Earth today, and I believe that it's lead and guided by holy, inspired men whose words are endowed with the authority of God. I believe that we will be well off if we listen to what they say, and do our best to follow it.

I haven't always been so sure of it – my belief used to come and go a lot more. But I've noticed that people who stick it out with the Church, in spite of trials, obstacles, personal weaknesses, or unresolved doubts or questions, seem to do much better for themselves in life, on a whole, than those who don't. In addition, I see a causation here, not just a correlation – in other words, I feel like people's getting ahead in life is typically caused by their decision to continue with Mormonism, not the other way around.

Also, I feel like just about everyone (everyone in my generation, at least) has to make a conscious decision, at some point, to “continue” with Mormonism, rather than just blindly accept what they heard growing up.

Reflection Three: Being a Mormon in the Internet age is hard work. It feels like we are getting attacked from all sides: from atheists and non-believers, from fellow-Christians who disagree with us, and even from other Mormons who differ from the mostly-orthodox believers on important doctrinal points.

Most Internet surfers aren't so tolerant of religion.
Thank you, dear reader, for being the exception to the rule.

I often feel like Mormonism – and much of religion in general – has been lackadaisical about using the Internet for proselyting and sharing the Good News of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I mean, yes the missionaries can use Facebook now, and there are some good members who work hard to create interesting memes, put up blog posts, etc. But for the most part, it feels like it's getting lost in a flood of anti-religious fervor on the Internet. I often wonder why that is. I have no honorable answer.

Also I feel that, too often, another part of what makes it hard to be a Mormon actually comes from inside the Church itself – a nagging sense of guilt about not being quite good enough. I feel like Mormonism often lacks the “come-as-you-are” vibe that is so essential for any Christian Church to function properly. (When the answer to more Sunday School questions is “read your scriptures” than “the grace of Jesus,” it becomes easy to feel turned around.)

Reflection Four: I feel like there is a lot of Mormon history that has been excessively downplayed. For fear that the faithful would misunderstand, I feel like our leaders have downplayed some aspects of early Mormon history that, at first glance, don't look too flattering. (Examples, for me, include the succession crisis after Joseph Smith's death, the early practice and extent of polygamy, and Joseph Smith's use of a seerstone in translating the Book of Mormon.) Maybe it's just my personal optimism, but I feel like the Church has been too cautious in this regard. Frankly, we need more help to understand these things about our past, because if they're not addressed in an atmosphere of trust and belief at Church, they can be misrepresented and used as ammunition against believers.

I am inclined to be sympathetic towards our leaders in this regard, though, because there is a difficult balance between talking about these things in a way that promotes spiritual resilience, and in a way that invites doubtful dissension. Not every Sunday School class would have an easy time discussing these things honestly and frankly. But I think that the Brethren should trust us – and we should trust ourselves – to grapple with questions about our past that don't have easy answers, because doing so will allow us to think clearly about what they mean for our present and our future.

Reflection Five: I feel that we have a glorious future, as a people, but we are starting to forget it. The Book of Daniel (Chapter 2:44-45) holds this amazing prophecy:

“And in the [latter] days... shall the God of heaven set up a kingdom, which shall never be destroyed: and the kingdom shall not be left to other people, but it shall break in pieces and consume all [other] kingdoms, and it shall stand for ever.

Daniel prophesied the Church's triumph
in the last days, thousands of years ago.

“Forasmuch as thou sawest that the stone was cut out of the mountain without hands, and that it brake in pieces the iron, the brass, the clay, the silver, and the gold; the great God hath made known to the king what shall come to pass hereafter: and the dream is certain, and the interpretation thereof sure.”

As Church members, we know that this prophecy refers to the latter day Church and Kingdom of God, restored to the Earth for the last time. I fear, though, that most of us have mostly forgotten this, and see the Church basically as a social club, or less. Too many times, I've seen the speaker get up in sacrament meeting, apologize for not having prepared his remarks until the night before, and start droning into his notes for the next fifteen minutes, while the rest of the congregation mentally checks out and struggles to stay awake. Too often, we let ourselves believe, unconsciously, that that's all the Church is really all about.

But isn't our destiny greater than all that? 

Mormonism and Biology - A Likely Alliance

Genetic research has been a tremendous boon to science and medicine over the last several decades. It has allowed us to pinpoint exact genetic causes of diseases that for hundreds or thousands of years had been mysteries to science. It has allowed us to develop drugs that improve, save, and prolong life around the world. Genetic research has allowed us to map the human genome, predict dangerous tumors a long way off, and is even beginning to allow us to show a genetic basis for many important personality traits.

But in order to do genetic research, you need to get quite a few things right. It's very technology intensive, and it's almost like putting together a puzzle. If you remember from high school biology, recessive genes will hide themselves in a person's genome, only manifesting themselves once every several generations. It's like sleuthing out a mystery, where the culprit can hide himself for generations.

The Mormon Church and Mormon culture in Utah have been a tremendous boon to the process of human genetic research. Why? Mormons' culture and theology have given them most of the puzzle pieces, allowing one university researcher to proudly declare that “more human disease genes have been discovered in Utah than in any other place in the world.”

• Mormons place a huge emphasis on family history research, and that is the first piece of the puzzle. If you track down one person who has a strange disease, you might be able – with a lot of work, and some blind luck – to determine the individual gene or set of genes that leads to it. But your chances for success are greatly multiplied if you can find their brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, first and second and fifth cousins. Once you've found a family, you can see if any of their relatives have the same disease, and if they do, you're in luck: you can test them for the gene or group of genes that you think is responsible for the disease, and if they all have it, you've made a discovery! And if not,

  

  The LDS Church's Family History Library - over
  8 billion records are housed in this building.

  you know you have to go back to the drawing board.
  
  Mormons literally see family history work as their God-given duty, and have traced back family trees that stretch back sometimes four and five hundred years, complete with aunts, uncles, cousins, and multiple-wives. The Church's Family History Library, in downtown Salt Lake City, Utah, has more than 8 billion names in it: that's more names than there are people alive today!
• Mormons have huge families. Recessive genes aren't manifested in every generation – and the genetic diseases that these researchers are looking for are overwhelmingly recessive. You need a big family tree to find some of these genes in families, and the bigger, the better. Basically, if you double the size of the family, you double the chances that the gene you are looking for will pop up. Also, Mormon families, which typically end in divorce less often, have fewer step- or half- relatives, which keeps things nice and simple for researchers. (As an aside, not even the widespread practice of polygamy in Mormon circles – leading to half-families – is slowing things down too much. Only about 30 percent of Utah families were polygamous, even at polygamy's height.)
• Mormons live clean, homogenous lifestyles. Being a card-carrying Mormon means no alcohol, no tobacco, and no drugs. Also, they typically eat pretty similar diets, and lead pretty similar lifestyles. This helps geneticists understand more easily when a disease is caused by genetic factors, and when it is caused by environmental factors. In other, more scientific terms, it helps them control for environmental factors in determining the effects of genetics on diseases.

• 

  The spread of a cancer genetic mutation that
  was tracked with the help of Mormon family history.

  Mormons are also genetically more homogeneous than other groups of people. Ok, laugh if you want about Mormons in Utah being just a bunch of white guys – it's actually statistically pretty true. In fact, most Mormons can trace their ancestry to one of just a handful of Western European countries. But when it comes to doing genetics research, that's a great boon, because it allows researchers to control for many more genetic factors. When they're obtaining massive samples of people who all came from a relatively small gene pool, progress can multiply.
• Mormons cooperate with the geneticists. None of this would mean anything if Mormons were uncooperative or guarded, and the researchers couldn't make progress on a social front. But quite the opposite is true. At family reunions, sometimes with thousands of people, geneticists have been known to set up booths to ask for blood samples, and have family members “eagerly sign consent forms and give blood samples.” Likewise, they are cooperative with geneticists who ask for family history records. Since at least the 1970's, the LDS Family History Library has contributed extensively to genetic research, forming the backbone of what is called the “Utah Population Database,” a Big-Data database of 7.3 million individuals who were born, married, or died in Utah.
  
  

• 

  A family history tree showing the
  incidence of a recessive genetic disease.

  “In Utah, science doesn't merely exist. It prospers.” Mormons understand the importance of science, and have put significant amounts of time and money into genetics, usually indirectly, but sometimes directly as well. Dr. John Kauwe, of LDS Church-owned Brigham Young University, has been doing some very significant research on genetics and its role in Alzheimer's disease. In recent years, he's gone to Cache Valley, Utah, where they've found a specific gene which may slow Alzheimer's disease from progressing. Because of extensive family history research, Dr. Kauwe and his team were able to narrow their focus to a very specific set of just a few families living in Cache Valley, instead of having to test large segments of the population for the gene. Since then, he has succeeded in identifying a gene – a variant of the TREM 2 gene – which increases a person's risk of Alzheimer's between two and six times.(Source) To pinpoint that exact gene, he and his colleagues had to sift through 5 terabytes - 5,000 gigabytes - of genetic information. Even though it doesn't say so in the article, you can take it to the bank that a tremendous amount of that information was from Utah natives.

I know that a lot has been said recently about science and religion not getting along. Nowadays, the world's loudest atheist is a biologist by profession, and you'd think that they won't ever make nice between each other. But the way I see it, Mormonism and biology are already getting along great, if only so far in a practical sense. In the real world, where the rubber hits the road, the world of big-data bioinformatics and the world of LDS culture are coming together and complementing each other. It was, in hindsight, quite a likely alliance.

(Unless otherwise noted, all quotations are taken from http://learn.genetics.utah.edu/content/science/utah/, a website I highly recommend for anyone seeking to learn more. All information on this blog posting has come either from websites already cited, my own personal experiences, and/or personal discussions with my biology professor, Dr. Richard Gill, at BYU.)