I had been working at a job since just after Trevor and I were married. It was a part time job, then quickly went to full time. I am a full time college student attending an online university (WGU), and studying accounting. In the last few weeks, I just hit my core accounting classes. For the previous 2 years, I had been able to skate through college, now, I just can't do that. While I was working, I was doing homework from 7 am - 9:30 am. This was about enough time for me to read a chapter. After work, I just didn't have time to do any homework.
The end of my term was coming up, less than 6 weeks. I still had 2 accounting classes to do. If I didn't pass both classes, I faced the chance of losing my half tuition scholarship. I took my pre-assessment for my first class and failed miserably, by 30 points.
That's where everything started. It hit me like a ton of bricks, that something had to change, something had to give. My dilemma make me think all weekend. I studied my degree plan and my classes. I pondered and prayed all weekend on what I needed to change.
I came to the conclusion that I had to ask for less time. I had to go part time. I am a college student. I'm not 30 or 40 something trying to go back to school to finish my degree. I am 20 and am trying to do the "correct" path the first time and just get the stinkin thing done with! Besides, this is the fun time in life where we get to take risks, knowing we are young enough to recover from just about anything. I found it difficult to believe that if billions of other students can go to a traditional university, do school and a little bit of work and be ok, and totally normal. Why can't I do the same thing??
So, Sunday night, I was still worried if I was doing the right thing, but I saw no other option. It had to be this way. Trevor and I had talked all weekend about my decision, he was just fine with my decision and we made it together. Right before bed, I felt strongly prompted to ask Trevor for a blessing. So, I did.
Trevor has given me 2 blessings now, and they have both been amazing and beautiful. The spirit is always so strong. In the blessing, he said that God loves me and that my decision has been made with the spirit of the Lord. (so, basically, I got God's approval). In both blessings I've been given, it's been said that the outcome of the situation is not know to us. This is because our decisions and actions might change, had we known the outcome, or certain conversations will be of value to the situation, and in the end, we have to grow from the trial/challenge. If we knew all the answers, where would the personal and spiritual growth be??
Near the end, he also reminded/told me that nothing is too small to take to the Lord. (I was nervous to ask for a blessing, because I didn't know if this was a "big enough of a deal" to ask for one.) In fact, He wants us to go to Him. That night, I learned a little bit more of what it meant to "turn to the Lord". It was very comforting, and I knew what I had to do. I also knew that I couldn't back down from my decision.
The the rest of the story is very simple. I went in on Monday, I explained I needed less time. They needed someone full time. So I zigged and they zagged. We parted ways. Walking out of that building for the last time, I had a huge smile on my face. It wasn't the outcome I was expecting, but as soon as everything was said and done, I knew it was the right one. Now, I'm studying school full time and it's very likely I could graduate this year, instead of another 24 months! :) (Maybe kids this year....?)
That's my story in a nutshell, now let me explain the lessons I learned.
1. If you live righteously, you'll have the spirit of the Lord with you to make big decisions.
Looking back, I can now clearly see that my decision was made with the help of the Spirit.
2. Nothing is too small to take to God, no worry or need is to small to ask for a blessing. The priesthood is something God has given to righteous men to bless His children.
This is something I'm so grateful for. There is a spiritual protection that comes from having the Priesthood in your home. It's also a huge source of comfort. The words spoken in a priesthood blessing come directly from God.
3. Life rarely goes "according to plan".
Trevor and I had a 1 year, 2, year and a 5 year plan. It was all based on me working and bringing in money. Now, we get to change our plans, to an even better one.
4. God knows better than we do what we need. He also knows us better than we know ourselves.
Only He knew how the whole situation was going to play out. If I had known before hand, I wouldn't have gone through with it. Job = security. No job = adventure?? Hahaha.
5. Sometimes, the worst case scenario, really isn't that bad.
I think that sometime we psych ourselves out about that "worst case". Right now, what is the worst thing that can happen, if I don't have a job? We take out a loan. We don't want to, but that's the worst that can happen...really not that bad.
6. We are young, and should live life adventurously.
When I came home and told Trevor I parted ways with my job, he was surprised and nervous. But hey, we are young. Let's live adventurously (but still be smart about it.)
7. We are young and can recover from just about anything.
I'm getting a degree in accounting, Trevor is getting a degree in civil engineering. We are young, and will be leaving school with 2 very good degrees. We can recover from just about anything.
8. Sometimes, God really gives us what we want, even when we think we couldn't have it, nor did we think it was an option.
Deep down, I didn't want to work. I didn't like my job a whole lot. (Customer service is no fun). All I wanted was to do school full time, just like EVERYBODY else in Provo. But I just didn't see that as an option. So I never considered parting ways with my job (which is what I wanted deep down). God gave me what I wanted, even though I didn't think it was an option. :)
9. If you're not happy, then change it.
This is something I've known for a while. If you're not happy, change it. Happiness is mostly a choice. Some dire situations really do just stink and can't be changed, but change your situation or attitude to be happy. Life is to short to be miserable.
10. God has a sense of humor. I'll leave it at that.
11. Life isn't suppose to be easy. God gives us trials and challenges to learn from them. If we knew how every situation would turn out, how would we learn or grow?
So, 3 weeks down the road, where am I? Any minute now, I could be approved to take my pretest again, (remember the one I failed 30 points on?). After I pass this one, I can take the real test and be done with it! YAY! In the next 30 days I'll have my second class done and pass all my classes this term. Life has been so much better from this whole experience and I'm super grateful for it. I've learned valuable lessons and have been able to draw closer to God from this experience. Life is good. :)
- SamiMae
No comments:
Post a Comment